Toronto’s mayoral race is a Looney Tunes convention — here’s three wacky characters to throw your vote behind
102 Candidates are running for Toronto Mayor in the 2023 by-election. That’s about 99 too many if we’re being honest, but all it takes to get your name on the ballot is 200 bucks and 25 endorsement signatures.
With such low stakes, a record number of people have used the opportunity for the ego boost of a lifetime — the chance to run their own political campaign, complete with custom lawn signs, mentions in the local news, and the chance to mark a bubble beside their own name on the ballot box. It’s a narcissist’s wet dream, and a number of colourful characters have thrown their hat into the ring.
Edward Gong is perhaps the most visible of the fringe weirdos on today’s ballot. He’s become somewhat of a viral sensation for spamming every arterial street in Scarborough with his lawn signs. His plans to “rescue Toronto” include hiring an ambitious 1,000 uniformed police officers (promising 400 more than former Chief of Police Mark Saunders) and making the TTC free for children and seniors. I’m not sure what those extra cops will be doing if they aren’t allowed to harass children for fare evasion on the bus, but Gong surely has a plan to keep them busy.
The candidate’s hard-on for law and order seems a bit strange considering his own personal history as a Batman villain. Gong is a Chinese-Canadian entrepreneur whose self made fortune comes from operating a number of businesses, including hotels, television channels, and an opera company. One of his businesses, Edward Enterprise International Group — an MLM that manufactures nutritional supplements in Canada and sells them overseas — was recently forced to pay $1 million to the Ontario Securities Commission for defrauding more than 40,000 people in China. The company also owes about $15 million to the Canada Revenue Agency due to the legal action.
Gong counter-sued the OSC for $7 million, claiming his human rights were violated because of how the organization cooperated with the Chinese government. It’s unsure how much legal weight the suit holds. Regardless, if Gong beats long-shot odds and becomes the mayor on Monday night, there will be questions into his campaign financing. Personal contributions to campaigns are limited to $25,000, which likely doesn’t cover what Gong spent on signage alone.
James Guglielmin’s name popped out to me on the ballot when I voted this morning. He stakes his claim as Toronto’s first deaf mayoral candidate, and the only thing he hates more than socialism is graffiti. His website landing page is a buffet of word salad which seems tangentially related to his platform ideas. A more comprehensive look into his campaign missive reveals some hidden gems, including a ten year prison sentence for vandals, subway service from Mississauga to Oshawa, and a “Kiss Pink Diamond Lane” on major roadways — where commuters who are “late for work” can use a special lane at a variable price rate based on traffic.
Chris Saccoccia, another mayoral hopeful who goes by the name Chris Sky, is currently embroiled in legal controversy. Saccoccia is a somewhat notorious conspiracy theorist who claims he was arrested over 70 times during the COVID-19 lockdowns. He turned himself in to police on June 13th, just a month before the election, on charges of sending death threats to an unidentified man. Saccoccia was also charged in 2021 after allegedly threatening to kill a number of high ranking Canadian government officials including Ontario Premier Doug Ford. The candidate claims his legal troubles are part of a “deep state plot” to derail his campaign.
There are no shortage of great candidates to vote for today, many of whom have impeccable legal records and fully functioning brains. Lizard people have not predetermined the outcome of this election, despite what Chris Sky might tell you, so hit the polls before 8PM tonight and make your vote count!